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At World's End: Redux 5/27
by SalR323 (salr323)
at June 4th, 2008 (09:20 pm)

Chapter Five

Pain sliced and pierced her, flayed skin from flesh and broke her bones. It tore away reason, stripped her of humanity, and shattered her soul into tortured fragments. Desperate for a breath of air, for a glimmer of hope, she screamed her defiance. But the sound was lost in the void, and the crushing black despair swallowed her whole.

Thus she fell into death, betrayed, reviled, and abandoned.

I'm not sorry...

"No!" Elizabeth gasped, pushing up from damp stone as though she'd just woken from a nightmare. Lifting a shaking hand she examined it in the low light, expecting bloody lacerations but finding herself whole and unharmed. The memory of pain lingered, though, running splintered fingers along the length of her spine.

She swiped at her face and found tears there, drying them roughly with the back of her hand as she looked about. It was dark, but she could make out the rocky sides of a small cave.

The cave... Memory returned like the moon peeking from behind storm clouds; the masked man had sent her here, had told her Jack was here. Above her she could see no sign of a ledge from which she might have fallen, could see nothing at all. Everything above was darkness.

Had he betrayed her, then? Had he sent her here to die, abandoned her in this pit? She shivered and climbed cautiously to her feet, using the rough wall of the cave to help her. Legs shaking with remembered pain, she took a couple of steps forward and then stopped. Her fingertips on the wall were cold and wet; water was dribbling down, pooling on the floor. She put her finger to her lips and tasted – brackish, undrinkable, like everything else in this hellish place.

It occurred to her then, however, that she could see the glimmer of water on the wall, could see her unbroken limbs. Elizabeth realised that there was light here, though none spilled from the entrance to the cave - at least, not from the entrance through which she'd fallen.

Into the mouth of the demon...

She shivered again, growing cold. Moving cautiously in the direction of the faint glow, she saw that there was a fold in the rock that led deeper into the cave; from that fissure shone the light.

Carefully, quietly as possible, she moved to the gap in the rock and peered around it. Another cave lay beyond, more brightly lit and warmer looking. Shadows danced and she thought there must be a fire somewhere, though she could smell no smoke nor feel no heat. Cautiously, she crept around the corner and-

"The perfidious Miss Swann... At once an unexpected and unwelcome sight."

And there he was: Jack Sparrow. Alive, whole, and perched atop a dragon's den of gold and jewels, he lounged upon a elaborate dais with one leg cocked over the arm of a monstrous throne and an empty bottle dangling from a lethargic hand. He had never looked more beautiful; his skin glowed like molten gold where his shirt hung open, lips curling in a teasing smile; his eyes glittered, obsidian black, and his hair was bright with all the familiar trinkets and baubles that danced in the flickering light.

Her heart jolted, and she thought Adonis would weep with envy.

Jack's smile turned into a golden leer. "What did you think to find, love? A snivelling wretch begging forgiveness for all his sins?" He stood up and swaggered down from the dais, clinking across the mound of treasure. "And here was me thinking you knew old Jack, eh?"

Elizabeth took a step back, hardly knowing what to say to him. This was how he suffered in the Locker? She had endured so much - they had all endured so much - to save him from this?

Jack's smile grew broader, eyes bright with challenge. "Or did you come for more? Was one kiss insufficient to sate your whetted appetite, my Harlot Queen?"

"Don't be vile." She lifted her chin, defiant. "I have come to save you, Jack. Whether you like it or not."

He cocked his head. "Save me? And from what would you be saving me, darlin'? Wealth beyond me wildest dreams? A veritable Aladdin's cave of riches?" His eyes narrowed. "Perhaps 'tis you what needs saving, eh? From the interminable dullness of a life beneath William Turner. Am I right?"

"You could hardly be more wrong!" she snapped. And behind her eyes she felt the rise of hot tears, of rage as fierce as the sun that had scorched their sinking ship. "To think that I mourned you, that I felt guilt at condemning you to-" She stopped suddenly, her eyes darting down to the bottle dangling from Jack's fingers. "Why is your rum gone?"

The challenge in his eyes turned to cunning, then deceit. "Yes," he said, lifting the bottle and studying it carefully. "The rum is always gone." He sent her a long, slow look. "Don't happen to have any secreted about your person?"

Elizabeth backed up a step. "Not for you."

"Come, come, love," Jack smiled. "We'll share a bottle, eh? Blind ourselves to that black soul we share and work up a bit of heat between us." He took a step closer. "It's what you want, isn't it? It's why you're here, why you've come for me..." He reached out an elegant finger and stroked her lips. "To finish what we started."

"No." She shook her head. "No, you're wrong. I'm not here for you. You're not what I want."


"You're not why I'm here!" She pulled away and he made no move to stop her as she stumbled past him, further into the room. And that's when she saw it; another doorway, no more than a slice of black against the cave wall.

"Don't want to go in there, love," Jack said, sauntering closer and lifting his empty bottle as if to drink. He frowned when he found it empty, and let his arm hang by his side. "Nothing worth seeking in there."

Elizabeth smiled. "You're wrong."

"No, love, trust me." He gestured at himself with a languid hand. "This, is what you want - Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

She looked at him for a moment, at the dazzling persona she'd read about as a child. "That's what you believe, isn't it?"

"Come, love," he gestured to the throne - dear Lord, was it a throne or a bed now? - and manoeuvred himself between her and the dark doorway. "Allow me to entertain you a while, Lizzie. I could tell you stories, things to make young William's toes curl, eh?"

"Let me past," she said, trying to move.

He stopped her with a hand, the challenge in his eyes replaced by an urgent apprehension. "You'll only be disappointed. Why risk it, eh? When such certain pleasures are right before you."

"I've not come here seeking pleasures, Jack. I've come seeking-" She found she couldn't complete the sentence.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "Go on... What is it you seek, Miss Swann? What is it you seek in yon dark and reeking hovel?"

She met his gaze, met the complicated look she saw there, and said, "Redemption."

"Ah..." His eyebrows rose and he stepped back. "Is that all, then? Naught but the salving of your own conscience...?"

Elizabeth made no answer, shouldering past him and walking slowly to the dark opening in the rock.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, love," Jack called after her. "Naught in there worth saving. Naught left to save..."

But his warning went unheard, for at that moment Elizabeth turned the corner into the darkness beyond - and her heart stopped.


Far away, aboard the eternally decaying deck of the Flying Dutchman, Davy Jones lifted his head and sniffed the air.

Something was wrong.

On the horizon a Corsair ship fled ahead of the Dutchman's triple guns - to no avail, of course - and his crew were about their stations with adequate efficiency. Yet he felt, in his bones, that something was wrong. Something had changed; the balance had shifted, and not in his favour.

He growled and one name came to his lips like the curse of the ages: "Jack Sparrow..."


No light burned in the small cave, but enough spilled in from the larger one; enough to reveal the man who sat propped against the far wall with his head on his knees. He wore naught but shirt and britches, and them torn and bloodied. She could not see his face, though she could see the fall of matted black hair as it spilled across his knees toward the floor. And the stench... God, the room stank like rot and despair.

Bracing a tentative hand against the wall, Elizabeth hesitated on the threshold. "Jack?"

His head lifted sharply, reddened eyes squinting. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes." Guilt rose like bile at the sight of him, emaciated, bloodied, and broken. "Oh, Jack..."

"I knew you would come," he pushed himself awkwardly to his feet, clearly injured, and clutching something she could not make out against his chest. "I knew-" He stopped, shaking his head as if trying to clear his mind, and then looked at her with narrowing eyes. "I'm not a fool, you know."

"I've never thought-"

"They say I am. They say it's my fault we're-" He frowned. "Are you one of them?" He shrank back, eyeing her with suspicion. "I'll not be fooled again, you parasitical harpy. Find your own bloody rum."

"Jack, it's me – Elizabeth. I've come to bring you back."

"They think me a fool," he muttered, edging away from her and along the wall. "Would be a bloody fool, to be believing in such nonsense. Dreaming such dreams." He squeezed shut his eyes. "Not real, not real. Not possible."

"It is real," she said, drawing closer again. "Jack, you must believe me. I've come with the others, to bring you back. You and the Pearl."

"The Pearl?" His eyes flew open, fear melting into open affection; it was a startling expression, scrawled across his wan features. "Is she here? I saw her wrecked, once, upon the rocks. All broken. Her pretty sails torn and the bird drowned before she could fly." His eyes narrowed and he moved further away. "See? I remember. The Pearl is dead too. Can't bring her back, can't bring me back. They think I'll believe it, think I'll be fooled again, but I won't. Learned me bloody lesson, didn't I?"

Exasperated and afraid, Elizabeth moved to block the door in case he tried to run. She was beginning to panic; if she couldn't gain - regain - his trust, how could she free him? How could she free herself?

"Jack, please. You must believe me, I'm telling you the absolute truth."

"Truth?" His gaze darted to her mouth. "What truth can I believe from those lips? They only speak lies - sweet lies, captivating lies, but lies nonetheless. Make a man believe anything, they can, and then-" She was expecting a flash of anger, but instead his gaze fell to the ground at her feet. "I'll not be fooled twice, see? Promised them those days were over. I'll not be fooled again."

In the faint gleam of light that seeped from the room beyond, the treasure he held against his chest gleamed dully – like dirty glass. Something precious in this place, something worth keeping... "Why did you say, before, that you knew I would come?"

Jack shook his head, loose hair falling across his face. "I didn't."

"You did, when you first saw me. You said 'I knew you'd come'."

Turning away, he pressed his shoulder against the damp wall. When he turned, she could see the shirt on his back shredded to ribbons and, beneath it, the sickly glint of raw flesh. Her voice shook when she spoke, trying not to remember the rending pain she'd experienced crossing the threshold to this place. Trying not to remember Tia Dalma's whispered truths: But first she must walk in him footsteps and know de agony of him passing...

His pain, she'd suffered, his death. She understood that now, and it horrified her.

Drawing in a steadying breath, she quietly said, "Jack, what are you holding?"


"Show me."

"No." He eyed her warily through his hair. "They can't know I have it, see? Or they'll take it away."

"I won't tell them," she promised. "Your secret's safe with me."

A complicated expression flickered across his blood-streaked face. "I don't trust you."

"But I think you want to. Don't you?"

He looked away, then back at her. "I'm no fool." But, nonetheless, he relaxed his arms enough to reveal an onion bottle containing an inch of dark rum.

Elizabeth felt her heart thump against her ribs. "You have rum," she said in a voice that was somewhere between laughter and tears. "Jack, you still have rum."

He frowned and studied the bottle. "Was saving it," he said quietly, so quietly she had to draw closer to hear. He didn't shrink back. "Was saving it for you." He looked up warily and she saw in his eyes something that made her spirit soar; she saw hope.

Elizabeth held out her hand, willing it steady as he tentatively offered her the precious bottle. As though it were the most prized object in the world, she lifted the grimy glass to her lips and swallowed a scant mouthful; it burned like summer sunshine, like hope, and when she gave the bottle back she was smiling. "Thank you," she said, touching her fingers to his hand.

"They think me a fool," Jack whispered.

"They're wrong." But as she spoke the mist rose up like a sudden storm, cold and clammy, blinding them both. "Jack?"

She reached for him, found the lean iron of his arm, and held tight as the world began to spin.


Will stood on the Locker's bleak shore and gazed across a flat, black sea. There was no wind here to caress the cheek, no sun to light the sky, no stars by which to steer. Just the sea and the shore, and the endless misty twilight between the living and the dead.

It was an empty place where time did not flow, where their passing left no footprints in the sand; sand that felt wrong, unnatural, and ran lifelessly between his fingers. He wondered how long the living might remain in this place before they were claimed by the dead.

Like Elizabeth... The sight of her walking into the mist would have chilled him had his anger not burned so fierce.

Will, you have no say in this.

She spoke the truth, for he would never try to cage her. Had he wanted a woman to do his bidding and to keep a good house, he'd have chosen elsewhere; he would never have a say in Elizabeth's life, and he wanted it that way. Yet it seemed, these past days, that they were walking divergent paths. Hers led to Port Royal, to her father, and his lead to the horizon - and to his father. In parallel now, but he wondered how soon it would be before their different journeys forced them apart; he wondered, too, if either of them would abandon their chosen path for the sake of the other. He knew he could not…

Closing his eyes, Will pictured the strange, sad face of his father – the man he'd left England to find, the man to whom he owed so little and to whom he'd sworn so much.

I'll find a way to sever Jones' hold on you, and not rest until this blade pierces his heart. I will not abandon you. I promise.

And he would not – could not – abandon his father, for how could he call himself a man if he broke such a solemn oath? No, his path was set. He would not alter in his course until his father's blade pierced the heart of Davy Jones, and let no man try to stop him. He would keep his promise, or he would die in the attempt. In that, he did have a say.

"Will..." Gibbs' tense voice roused him, and he turned to see the gruff old sailor nodding up the beach toward the fog that lingered there. "Someone's coming."

Turning slowly, Will squinted into the mist and saw that Gibbs was right. Shapes moved in the mist, a figure coming toward them. His heart began to race and he drew his sword with a soft hiss.

Gibbs cursed beneath his breath and cocked his pistol, further down the beach Will heard the nervous warbling of Ragetti and Pintel. Only Barbossa and Tia Dalma seemed unperturbed, observing the apparition with what could only be described as anticipation – or, perhaps, hunger. Will shivered and looked away, watching the figure coalesce in shades of grey until—


She stopped at the edge of the mist, blinking as if this twilight world was bright as noon. Then she turned, frowning back into the fog.

"Are you all right?" He surged forward. "Did you—?"

"Mother Mary and the sweet baby Jesus!" Gibbs exclaimed, for at that moment another figure appeared as if out of nowhere – a ghost made flesh. "Jack!"

And there he was, black-eyed and dangerous as he stalked from the mist. Dressed, as always, in coat and boots, his familiar hat was drawn low over a face of unforgiving planes and angles. He stopped when he saw them all, the fingers of one hand curling about the hilt of his sword, and his gaze drifting past each of them until it landed on Barbossa. "What the bloody hell is he doing here?"

"He helped us find the way," Elizabeth said, staring at Jack uncertainly.

"Find the way?" He smiled, an unpleasant curl of his lips, and cast her a sharp glance. "Thought you knew that path well enough."

She frowned. "Jack—"

"Captain Sparrow to you, love." His gaze shifted, cold and dark as he surveyed the rest of his crew, finally alighting on Tia Dalma. "You had a hand in this, no doubt. More than a hand too, I'll wager." His head cocked. "What is it you want, then?"

The witch smiled. "De wide, wide ocean, Jack Sparrow. And what only your hand can bestow."

"That nonsense?"

"Nonsense!" Tia Dalma scoffed. "Dat your father's talk, and him always whistle 'gainst de wind."

Jack ignored her, his attention cutting sharply and irrevocably toward Will himself. "Young Turner, what brings you to these shores?" He slid a sly glance toward Elizabeth. "Thought you'd be glad to see the back of me." His eyes glinted darkly. "Or did your bonnie lass weep for the loss of Captain Jack Sparrow, and beg for me swift return?"

Will offered a flat smile. "I'm here for my own purpose."

"Ah..." Jack nodded. "Same as Barbossa, eh?" His expression changed. "You want my ship."

"I want to borrow your ship."

"His ship?" Barbossa interrupted, shouldering past Tia Dalma. "You both be forgettin' that the Pearl be my ship."

"Your claim to her is the claim of a traitor and a mutineer," said Jack. "And that's no claim at all."

Barbossa laughed. "And pray tell, Jack... What claim have you on the great Lady?"

"Naught but death," he said softly. "Twice, as it happens."

Tia Dalma crowed. "De twice dead son shall rise wit' de Midnight Sun!"

And suddenly Jack's sword was in his hand, pointed at her throat. "You, shut it. I'll have none of that." His blade switched to Barbossa. "And you? Why can't you just bloody well stay dead?"

Barbossa's wide mouth split into a grin as he drew his sword. "I could say the same of you, Jack."

"Then what say we—?"

"Oh, this is absolutely ridiculous!" With an outraged flounce, Elizabeth pushed Jack's blade aside and forced herself between the two men. "Before you imbecilic half-wits murder each other, have either of you noticed that there is no Pearl?"

Jack frowned. "Why? What have you done with her?"

"Me?" Elizabeth exclaimed. "Nothing! What could I—?" She waved her hand toward the ink-black sea. "Look! Nothing. Not a sail in sight."

Jack's sword drooped. "Bugger," he said softly.

Barbossa squinted back into the fog. "Maybe she's still somewhere in there?" He eyed Elizabeth. "Perhaps she what sent her to the depths, must also bring her back?"

"Barbossa speak de truth," Tia Dalma said, pulling her shawl about her shoulders. "But 'twas not de girl what doomed de Pearl to de depths, hmmm?"

Will understood in an instant. "It's you," he said to Jack. "Your deal with Jones."

"My deal with Jones saved her."

"And doomed her," Will countered.

With a shiver, Jack glanced over his shoulder at the fog. "So..." he said after a moment. "Anyone have another ship? A different ship? A ship not lost in the cursed mist of Hades?"

Silence was his only answer.

"Did none of you think to bring a bloody ship?" he exclaimed in exasperation. "How did you imagine—?"

"We lost her," Elizabeth said quietly. "We...sank."

Jack turned back, fixing her with a disbelieving look. "You sank?"

"It’s the only way to reach the Locker – all hope must be forsaken." Her gaze darted to Barbossa. "Isn't that so?"

"Aye." He grinned. "Abandon hope all ye who enter, lest Jones comes and tears it from you piece by howling piece."

With a shudder, Jack said, "I need rum."

Tia Dalma smiled. "And yet, hope alone bring us here, hmm? Hope for forgiveness, hope for vengeance, hope for power. Dere is no life wit'out hope, and no death while hope remains. Only hope can save us from dis misty shore."

"And who is it," Jack said, "what is doin' the hoping?"

She smiled. "Who indeed?"

"Lot of bloody good that is! I should—"

"Cap'n Sparrow!" The voice was Ragetti's, scrambling up from the foreshore. "Beggin' your pardon, sir, without meanin' to interrupt or nothin', but me and Pintel..." He trailed off when he saw all eyes upon him and straightened his shoulders, as if rising to the occasion. "Mr Pintel and me, sir, discovered summink what I thought you might—"

"Is it rum?"

Ragetti scratched his head. "Only figuratively, sir." And from behind his back, he pulled a wooden carving of a dove, blackened with pitch.

Jack's breath caught. "Give me that..."

Eagerly, Ragetti handed it over. Behind Jack, Will could see Elizabeth's eyes widen, and Barbossa let out a soft sigh. "The Pearl..."

Will frowned. "The Pearl?"

"From the figurehead," Elizabeth said sharply.

"She's wrecked, then?" And with her, the hope of catching the Dutchman and saving his father...

Jack said nothing, turning the carving over in his hands and whispering softly, "Ubi columbae volant, ibi est libertas." And with that, he strode past Barbossa, past Will, and into the lifeless surf of the crow-black sea.

Will took a step to follow, Elizabeth crowding in at his side. "Freedom is where the doves fly."

He glanced at her.

"It's what Jack said. Latin."

Will had no time to wonder where the likes of Jack Sparrow learned to speak Latin, for at that moment Elizabeth grabbed his hand. "No..."

Standing in the surf, Jack hauled back his arm and with a cry of effort flung the carving in a graceful arc out over the sea.

Will watched it fly, turning end over end as it reached the apex of its flight and began its fall into the sea and—

Elizabeth gasped. "Will, did you—?"

"Yes…" he whispered, astonished. For as it fell, the carving appeared to change, to flap its wings and swoop into a twisting dive, piercing the flat sea without so much as a ripple. Will looked at Elizabeth who just shook her head, attention fixed on Jack who still stood up to his knees in water, gazing out to sea.

Behind him, Will heard Tia Dalma cackle softly, but he couldn't spare her a moment's attention because for the first time in days he felt a kiss of air against his face.

"A breeze," Gibbs murmured from somewhere behind, reverent as if he'd found a cave full of treasure.

A crop of white petals bloomed atop the waves that were beginning to stir the dead sea, rolling up the beach and hissing against the sand, disturbing this place of silence and death. Will shivered and thought that such places ought not be disturbed.

But the wind blew stronger, whipping Jack's hair about his head, as slowly he raised his arms toward the heavens. A supplication, or a command?

Sand flayed them as the squall drew closer, and Elizabeth turned to bury her face against Will’s chest. He held her there, warm against him, solid and real – an anchor in the chaos.

The surf was high now, rolling up the beach in furious waves, and from behind him Will thought he could hear the piteous wails of the dead. Did the storm disturb their rest, he wondered, or did they plead with it to set them free?

"Will, look!" Elizabeth was pointing at the ocean, its surface boiling like hot lead. "There, do you see?"

The elegant reach of a bowsprit surged up from the depths, breaking free with a thunderous roar. And behind it, trailing water in silver streamers, surged the tar-black prow of the Black Pearl, her ebony sails unfolding like the wings of fallen angels and catching the breeze with a snap.

"Now, that!" Jack yelled into the teeth of the storm. "Is what I call an entrance!"


Continued in Chapter Six


Page 1 of 2[1][2]
Posted by: tiamaria (anactoria)
Posted at: June 4th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)

"Was saving it," he said quietly, so quietly she had to draw closer to hear. He didn't shrink back. "Was saving it for you."

You just broke me. ♥

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
Redux - Navigator

Squee! Thank you. So pleased you like that line. :)

Posted by: DC (drillingcat)
Posted at: June 6th, 2008 01:02 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Florencia (florencia7)
Posted at: June 4th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
Jack despair

That was so beautiful! The meeting... and then bringing back the Pearl... the imagery. I love your Locker so much more than the movie one.

"Was saving it for you." He looked up warily and she saw in his eyes something that made her spirit soar; she saw hope. - I loved this. It says EVERYTHING:]

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Redux - Tyrant

Oh thanks so much, really flattered you're enjoying it. Thanks for sticking with us on the journey. :)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Redux - Song

Thanks so much for commenting, always high praise coming from you. :)

So glad you liked that last line, I've got a really strong visual in my head so I'm pleased it came across.

Now, did you switch off writing chapters? I wonder if it could be guessed who wrote which one...

We broke it down scene by scene actually, although some chapters end up with more of one than the other. It'll be interesting if anyone can spot the joins! :)

Thanks again for commenting, hun. Really appreciate it. (And can't wait for more of yours!)

Posted by: kenton_bomb (kenton_bomb)
Posted at: June 4th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)

This might get posted twice because I forgot to log in last time. I'm not having a good day with livejournal :(

GRR! The stupid internet died just as I posted my comment, which I was quite proud of because it was longer than usual. So lets try again and hope I can remember what it said:

I was sat bored to death after finally fixing the internet [I had written the wrong WEP key down, lol] when it occured to me "Its Wednesday!"; which of course meant an update of this wonderful story by two of my favourite writers. And I have to say I'm definately glad I remembered the significance of Wednesday's otherwise I'd be asleep now missing out on all the lovely Sparrabethyness and such.

Like the above commentors I too loved that line, ..."I was saving it for you"..., in fact I loved the whole of the reunion - I loved the whole chapter! Just as I've said before I much prefer your locker and version of AWE than the actual one. You two could definately give T&T a run for their money [though we gotta love 'em for creating PotC in the first place].

How many days until Sunday? Great work as usual, I must go shoot the hamster now the annoying little thing. Anyone want him?

This better post this time!!


Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
Redux - Tyrant

Second time lucky!

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, especially with LJ playing up.

I'm really pleased you're still enjoying the story, and the little J/E bits in this chapter! More of that to come. :)

Did the hamster survive??

Posted by: kenton_bomb (kenton_bomb)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Renee (reneeks)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
miss you love you

Waited all day for this...and I wasn't disappointed in the least.
I will be counting down the days til Sunday now.

This chapter is beautifully written, I agree it's much better than the real version of The Locker, and what happened there...

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:00 pm (UTC)
Redux - ship

Thanks so much, hun. So pleased you're still with us, and still enjoying our take on it all. :)

More Jack on Sunday!

Posted by: djarum99 (djarum99)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)

"This, is what you want - Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

She looked at him for a moment, at the dazzling persona she'd read about as a child. "That's what you believe, isn't it?"

This, and the "I've been saving it for you" left me in pieces. Brilliant, quintessential sparrabeth. I love, love, love your version of events in the Locker - so much deeper and richer than what we saw in AWE. Brava again, loves ♥ ♥ ♥

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC)
Redux - comm

Thanks so much, hon.

We kinda like our version of the Locker better too - it just seemed that there was so much potential there, sacrificed to a goat and a chicken joke. *sigh*

Glad you're still enjoying it second time around! :)

Posted by: Geek Mama (geekmama)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)
Jack - In Your Dreams

Some wonderfully visual moments in this, Jack atop his pile of treasure (shades of the ride, eh?) and the Pearl released from the depths. I could "hear" Jack so easily, both "Captain" Jack and broken Jack, and then the two seem combined into Magical Jack somehow in that last scene. Lovely stuff, this.

And now I really MUST go pack!!

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
Redux - ship

Thanks hon! So pleased you're still enjoying this - and thanks for taking the time to comment amid the packing!

Have a fun trip! :)

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 07:15 am (UTC)

My internet connection died the other day (sobs), and I have been forced to use a roommate's computer. It was 3:30am when I remembered it was Wednesday (Thursday, really :P), and rushed into their room (they were awake, thank gawd) and all but demanded that I borrow their computer because I had forgotten and I desperately needed to read the new chapter of this story ASAP! It's now 4am, and this chapter is soooo worth looking like a freak in front of my roommates!! Love the last line. I can clearly picture Jack kneeling in the surf, the elements seemingly not effecting him, yelling out with glee at the sight of his beloved Pearl. Cannot wait until Sunday! (Prays to the internet gods that my connection works by then.)

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
Redux - Navigator

LOL! I'm so impressed you went to such lengths to read this - and very glad it didn't disappoint!

I'm especially pleased you liked that final scene, because it's one of my favourites too. :)

Hope your internet is working by Sunday!

Posted by: ditte3 (ditte3)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 07:35 am (UTC)

Amazing chapter.I really Liked how the locker scene and that Elizabeth new the first Jack she met was not whom she was there for.Your Locker scene was much better than that in AWE.Please write more soon.

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)
Redux - Song

Thanks so much! So glad you liked the thing with two versions of Jack, I think he very much hides behind that persona so it was fun to separate them for a while. :)

More on the way on Sunday!

Posted by: Anne (ladyofthesilent)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 09:08 am (UTC)

Well, I know I just pestered you with my comment to chapter four, but here's the thing about being ill: Too much time and too little strength to do any real work. So I'll just take the time and tell you how much I enjoyed this chapter.

Jack being my favorite character, I loved how you worked out the difference between Captain Jack Sparrow and Jack. There's the man Elizabeth has read about as a child, beautiful, a rogue and a ladykiller - more of a legend than a real man. It's hardly surprising that he doesn't want her to see what's behind the door - I even got the impression he actually feels she wouldn't want to see it, anyway. From this POV, your version of the locker becomes more and more a glimpse into Jack's mind and its workings, which is truly fascinating.

The Jack sitting in the darkness, bloodied and bruised, holding on to a bottle of rum, is just as well part of his personality, yet one he manages to hide fairly well. I loved how you worked his trusting, altruistic side into this as well - it actually reminded me a little of the boy Elizabeth met in chapter four.

About everything that comes after the initial rescue, I have only one thing to say: Perfect!

This line: "Now, that!" Jack yelled into the teeth of the storm. "Is what I call an entrance!" sums it up really well. Captain Jack is back - and I cannot wait for chapter six!

Keep up the good work!

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
Redux - comm

Wow, thanks so much for your lovely detailed comment. Not that I'm glad you're unwell, but... ;)

I even got the impression he actually feels she wouldn't want to see it, anyway.

Yes, that's it exactly. I think he believes that the 'good man' behind the persona is one that people exploit, that they don't value, and that ends up getting him in trouble.

your version of the locker becomes more and more a glimpse into Jack's mind and its workings

That's exactly what we intended, so I'm really pleased it came across in that way.

There's more on Jack and his reaction to the Locker in the next chapter, so I hope you continue to enjoy the story! And thanks again for the comment. :)

Posted by: KSena (kseenaa)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 09:47 am (UTC)
In ur mist... (Jack) by xonlyashesx

I agree with Jack there. That is one hell of an entrance. :-)

I must say I really like the view you had of the Locker here. All the different sides of Jack. Was very interesting to read. :-)

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
Redux - ship

Thanks! Really pleased you enjoyed it, and thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

Posted by: akari (akarii)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:28 am (UTC)

"... for he would never try to cage her. Had he wanted a whoman to do his bidding and to keep a good house, he'd have chosen elsewhere."

This is, by far, the most interesting and thought-provoking little tidbit in this chapter. Would he indeed? Or is all this adventure-seeking in reality just the fancy of a very young man who has not yet learned to appreciate the advantages of a comfortable, white-bread life?

Both ideas are plausible. Will may, during CotBP and DMC, have discovered his taste for adventure and the sea ('Pirate. It's in you blood and one day you'll have to reckon with it'). The other interpretation is that only his wish to recover Elizabeth induced him to take upon himself all these risks and inconveniences he wouldn't have accepted otherwise. It's plausible to think that, had he had his way, he would have been happy to lead a normal land-bound life by her side and would have attempted to do that had he not taken over captaincy of the Dutchman.

It that latter interpretation were the case, would he have endorsed Elizabeth's rather unconventional independence and obstinacy? I'm conviced that her pirate adventures have brought out and enhanced these character traits in her. Thus, had she married Will at any point post-DMC, I'm pretty sure she would have acted out these traits in her married life. Will, on the other hand, should, by habit and education, have been unfamiliar with the concept of an 'emancipated' wife. So would he really, in his heart of hearts, have wished for his wife to continue being a free spirit?

I'd love to explore that idea someday - or see it explored by somebody else. Stories from Will's POV are quite rare, especially in the Sparrabeth section.

Back to AWE Redux 08: Great chapter! Looking forward to next update. Cheers!

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)

Posted by: greenisbeauty (greenisbeauty)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)

This chapter was fantastic! Never before have I read a story in which the character's voices ring so clearly in my head! In many ways, reading this story has been more true to my mind and its interpretations of each character and their voices than the movie ever was. I can literally see it all happening.

How much did I love that symbolism of the two Jacks that Elizabeth encounters? The difference between the facade and the true man and the idea that she is both physically and emotionally trying to get past the first to finally see the second.

Absolutely marvelous. Can't wait until Sunday!

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
Redux - Tyrant

Thanks so much, I'm really pleased you're enjoying the story - it's very flattering that you think we're doing a good job with the character voices. :)

The difference between the facade and the true man and the idea that she is both physically and emotionally trying to get past the first to finally see the second.

So glad you liked that, we really wanted to explore all Jack's different aspects in the Locker - and his image, Captain Jack Sparrow, seemed like it would be the strongest one to get past. So glad you enjoyed that. :)

More Jack to come on Sunday! :)

Posted by: gea_luv (gea_luv)
Posted at: June 5th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)

Ughh! First off, I apologize for not commenting on your other chapters (life is quite hectic as of late) but to sum it up and give you some encouragement: they were breathtaking :) Onto this chappie...

So beautiful. Everything about it was lovely and, as you've been hearing, that 'Was saving it for you...' line just had me on the floor in tears, dead. heh. But really, wonderful job. I especially liked the part where Elizabeth confronted 'the legend'. Very fitting that all that glitters is not necessarily gold as we see behind the door.

"Nothing worth seeking in there."

Elizabeth smiled. "You're wrong."

"No, love, trust me." He gestured at himself with a languid hand. "This, is what you want - Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

She looked at him for a moment, at the dazzling persona she'd read about as a child. "That's what you believe, isn't it?"

How perfect. Jack would believe that or else he wouldn't put up that front to begin with, now would he? Of course, that's what makes Elizabeth so different, she doesn't want what everyone else sees of him. She wants truth :) Fabulous.

Tia Dalma crowed. "De twice dead son shall rise wit' de Midnight Sun!"

And suddenly Jack's sword was in his hand, pointed at her throat. "You, shut it. I'll have none of that."

*laughs* How very Jack.

Again, MAGNIFICENT job. Yes, caps lock is for winners, and that's what you both are :)


Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 10th, 2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
Redux - Pawn

Thanks so much! Really pleased you've been enjoying the story, and really appreciate you taking the time to comment - especially when you're so busy.

she doesn't want what everyone else sees of him. She wants truth

That's it exactly! Glad that worked for you, it's just how I see her.

I hope you enjoyed chapter six, there will be more to come tomorrow! :)

Posted by: mary684 (mary684)
Posted at: June 6th, 2008 01:49 am (UTC)

Loved the callback to the ride - Jack and his pile of shine. heh heh The rum being gone - that's gotta be truly the depths of hell for Jack and bless you and huzzah for Rags handing over the bit of the Pearl that brings her back. "Only figuratively, sir" Very funny!

Just want to take note of the lovely icons you've made to go with the story. They are beautiful and add a touch of magic to each chapter.

Posted by: SalR323 (salr323)
Posted at: June 10th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC)
Redux - ship

Thanks so much for commenting. Really pleased you're still reading and enjoying.

"Only figuratively, sir." Very Funny!

Yay! I love Ragetti's brief flashes of a deeper mind at work, it always makes me smile. :)

All credit for the icons goes to fried_flamingo, I think they're fab too!

Thanks again for taking the time to comment, I hope you continue to enjoy our story.

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